Forgiveness
I remember being mad at some friends once.
I was angry. I was upset. And just all out salty.
At the time, I couldn’t understand them – why they couldn’t hear me, why they didn’t understand what I was going/growing through, and why they didn’t seem to care about my feelings.
I was hurt. Sad. Disappointed. And just all out irritated. In fact, I had pretty much just stopped talking to them. Well, during the same time I called myself being upset with my friends, there were a lot of other things going on in my life. All of them not good. And I just couldn’t figure out why everything seemed to be falling down around me.
So, I prayed.
I asked God why everything seemed so hard and nothing seemed to be going right, and He showed me: it was my un-forgiveness.
As I prayed, I saw a vision of myself holding my friends to the cross. I was behind the cross, my friends were in front of it – and I had my arms wrapped tightly around them and the cross. Eyes shut. Breathing hard. With all my might. I was holding my friends to the cross.
Trembling, straining, struggling, with all my might I was holding my friends to this cross.
And that is the picture of un-forgiveness.
It’s trembling. Struggling. Fighting. Straining. To hold somebody accountable - to hold them to a cross - they don’t belong on. It’s using your all your physical might, all your physical strength, all your physical ability, as well as all your spiritual energy, time and talent to crucify someone on a cross they don’t belong on.
I was wrong in so many ways. I am a Christian. I believe there is NO other name under heaven by which men can call upon to be saved EXCEPT the name of Jesus. (Acts 4:12) I believe that at the name of Jesus EVERY knee will bow and every tongue will confess that HE is Lord. (Philippians 2:10) I also believe that the bible is God’s divinely inspired, holy word. It is profitable for teaching, reproof, correction, instruction and righteousness. (2 Timothy 3:16)
And, as a Christian, the word of God instructs me to forgive others as Christ has forgiven me. Wow. Once I accepted His Son, Jesus Christ, as my Lord and Savior, God pushed my sin from His remembrance - as far as the east is from the west. And He remembers it no more.
Wow.
That’s a powerful love. A powerful forgiveness. And He wants us to love others just as He has loved us. To forgive others just as He has forgiven us – to release them and no longer hold them hostage.
Think about the vision I had: I was holding my friends hostage.
I was holding them accountable to the way I thought they should act and respond to what I needed, wanted and felt. And I was working overtime to do it. To be mad. To be angry. To be upset. But in the midst of it all – I was holding me hostage too.
I devoted all my strength, all my mental energy, all my spiritual intellect, and all my emotional power to keeping them on that cross – so I was stuck too.
I couldn’t be free until I set them free.
When I let them off the cross, I got off the cross too.
It’s like forgiveness and freedom were sisters – and I couldn’t play with one unless I played with the other.
A book I’m reading defined it another way: forgiveness is giving “up our right to take revenge on those who hurt us” and leaving the work of vengeance – or grace, or whatever He wants to do with the situation – to God.
Wow.
I don’t want to give up my right to get back at people who hurt me.
I want to roll my eyes. I want to work my neck. I want to act a plumb fool – and tell you about yourself because you have no right to hurt me or do whatever it is I think you did to me.
But God says, no. None of that.
Not even vengeful or impure thoughts about the person – as a friend pointed out.
None of it - even when we’ve really been wronged. Even when we’ve really been hurt. Even when what they did injured us in our innermost secret places.
Wow. That’s deep. But it’s what we’re called to as Christians - because it’s exactly what Jesus did for us. He said, I love you. I forgive you. And I’m going to get on up here on this cross - for you. I give up my right to take out any vengeance on you, because I love you.
So, I apologized to my friends.
I called and asked them to forgive me. Told them I had been wrong, and that I wanted their forgiveness. And they gave it to me instantly. I also forgave them.
And we are called to do the same.
To be truthful, I'm not all the way there in some situations in my life. But I know the truth – that I am to forgive – and I am moving steadily forward.
Know that I love you each. L.
I was angry. I was upset. And just all out salty.
At the time, I couldn’t understand them – why they couldn’t hear me, why they didn’t understand what I was going/growing through, and why they didn’t seem to care about my feelings.
I was hurt. Sad. Disappointed. And just all out irritated. In fact, I had pretty much just stopped talking to them. Well, during the same time I called myself being upset with my friends, there were a lot of other things going on in my life. All of them not good. And I just couldn’t figure out why everything seemed to be falling down around me.
So, I prayed.
I asked God why everything seemed so hard and nothing seemed to be going right, and He showed me: it was my un-forgiveness.
As I prayed, I saw a vision of myself holding my friends to the cross. I was behind the cross, my friends were in front of it – and I had my arms wrapped tightly around them and the cross. Eyes shut. Breathing hard. With all my might. I was holding my friends to the cross.
Trembling, straining, struggling, with all my might I was holding my friends to this cross.
And that is the picture of un-forgiveness.
It’s trembling. Struggling. Fighting. Straining. To hold somebody accountable - to hold them to a cross - they don’t belong on. It’s using your all your physical might, all your physical strength, all your physical ability, as well as all your spiritual energy, time and talent to crucify someone on a cross they don’t belong on.
I was wrong in so many ways. I am a Christian. I believe there is NO other name under heaven by which men can call upon to be saved EXCEPT the name of Jesus. (Acts 4:12) I believe that at the name of Jesus EVERY knee will bow and every tongue will confess that HE is Lord. (Philippians 2:10) I also believe that the bible is God’s divinely inspired, holy word. It is profitable for teaching, reproof, correction, instruction and righteousness. (2 Timothy 3:16)
And, as a Christian, the word of God instructs me to forgive others as Christ has forgiven me. Wow. Once I accepted His Son, Jesus Christ, as my Lord and Savior, God pushed my sin from His remembrance - as far as the east is from the west. And He remembers it no more.
Wow.
That’s a powerful love. A powerful forgiveness. And He wants us to love others just as He has loved us. To forgive others just as He has forgiven us – to release them and no longer hold them hostage.
Think about the vision I had: I was holding my friends hostage.
I was holding them accountable to the way I thought they should act and respond to what I needed, wanted and felt. And I was working overtime to do it. To be mad. To be angry. To be upset. But in the midst of it all – I was holding me hostage too.
I devoted all my strength, all my mental energy, all my spiritual intellect, and all my emotional power to keeping them on that cross – so I was stuck too.
I couldn’t be free until I set them free.
When I let them off the cross, I got off the cross too.
It’s like forgiveness and freedom were sisters – and I couldn’t play with one unless I played with the other.
A book I’m reading defined it another way: forgiveness is giving “up our right to take revenge on those who hurt us” and leaving the work of vengeance – or grace, or whatever He wants to do with the situation – to God.
Wow.
I don’t want to give up my right to get back at people who hurt me.
I want to roll my eyes. I want to work my neck. I want to act a plumb fool – and tell you about yourself because you have no right to hurt me or do whatever it is I think you did to me.
But God says, no. None of that.
Not even vengeful or impure thoughts about the person – as a friend pointed out.
None of it - even when we’ve really been wronged. Even when we’ve really been hurt. Even when what they did injured us in our innermost secret places.
Wow. That’s deep. But it’s what we’re called to as Christians - because it’s exactly what Jesus did for us. He said, I love you. I forgive you. And I’m going to get on up here on this cross - for you. I give up my right to take out any vengeance on you, because I love you.
So, I apologized to my friends.
I called and asked them to forgive me. Told them I had been wrong, and that I wanted their forgiveness. And they gave it to me instantly. I also forgave them.
And we are called to do the same.
To be truthful, I'm not all the way there in some situations in my life. But I know the truth – that I am to forgive – and I am moving steadily forward.
Know that I love you each. L.
Comments
God bless,
Angie