Purpose

On the water in Beihai Park, Beijing China

For graduation, Lyric asked me to help her move to China.

I said, yes. But the whole time there was something off about it in my spirit, so I prayed and prayed and prayed. But I didn't really wait to hear from God about it because I wanted to go.

I was stressed out. Tired. And I really needed a break. Plus, I'd never traveled abroad before. I went to Canada once for a fellowship, but I've never really been anywhere else. To tell you the truth, I've never really even been on a vacation. All my travel has been work-related, and I then somehow squeeze in a few extra days or so to see the sites. I went to Chicago once for a week, but that was it. Everything else is either research or work.

So, this seemed like my chance. My opportunity.

I had the money. I had the time. I had free lodging. And I had my very own interpreter.

So, I did it.

Never waited to hear from God, though as time got closer to leave, I realized the problem. I even asked Lyric about it, but she really wanted me to go, so I did.

And I was miserable - the first few days.

I was jet-lagged and lonely because Lyric was out registering for classes, going to orientation, meeting her supervisors, hanging out with friends and preparing for her new job there. Then, when she came in, she had the nerve to be tired and didn't want to take me sight-seeing.

I was livid.

There was no TV, no internet, my phone didn't work - and I was in a foreign land all alone. I couldn't leave the room, because I couldn't get back into the building or the room if I did. It was just awful - and I was really upset with Lyric for doing this to me.

I questioned how I had raised her.

I wondered what was wrong with her.

I thought about how I was going to go off on her when she came back.

Then, I got a revelation.

I wasn't on vacation: I was there for Lyric. She had specifically asked me to help her move and get situated in China as her graduation gift. She didn't ask me to go on vacation with her. She didn't ask if we could travel somewhere together. She asked me to help her move and get settled in her new home.

And I had totally missed it. But once I got revelation - the whole experience changed.

God showed me I was there to serve Lyric - not to be served.

I was there for moral support, encouragement - not to be chaffuered around and catered to.

I was there for her: That was my purpose.

Understanding this, I began waking up differently. Knowing she would be gone all day. Knowing she would be tired when she came in that afternoon or evening. And knowing I might not get to go out and sightsee. I got up and went straight to God. I prayed. I sang. I worshipped. Then, I slept. Deeply. Refreshingly. For hours. Then, I did what I could around her room - her dorm is in a hotel, so she has maid service. I also worked. Wrote several pages in my dissertation. Did some reading. It was awesome.

And yes, I got to finally go shopping and tour the city - which was beautiful and amazing.

Today, know that our God is a God of Divine purpose. He is at work in every circumstance and He can use any problem, situation, person or castastrophe to grow us and stretch us. If you are in an uncomfortable situation, have a problem or whatever - ask God your purpose and how he wants to use you in that situation.

According to Ephesians 2:10, "we are (God's) workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." That means he has a plan. He has a way. He desires to work in us and through us to serve others, but we must first seek Him and His way. 

It's easy to think we don't need Him - that we got it under control and know what's what. But is also really easy for us to miss things that are right in front of us. 

I knew all along why I was going to China. Lyric asked me very specifically what she wanted and needed, but I missed it. I was so focused on my needs and my wants that I truly missed it. But when I finally went to God, He not only revealed it - but He healed it. 

He's good like that. 

Know that I love you each, L.