His Banner Over Me is Love

Mentally, emotionally, spiritually, I've been everywhere this week.

It's odd.

For quite some time now, I've been feeling renewed, refreshed and reinvigorated in the Lord.

I've been reading my word, praising God, and truly growing and reveling in Him. It's been a high and praiseworthy time. I led three people to Christ, and I’d been feeling very in touch, very in tune, with God. Then - calamity. 

I just kind of collapsed spiritually.

Had a huge argument with my best friend. Missed my own surprise party. And I'm struggling with this dissertation again.

There’s all this doubt. All this fear - that I'll never finish this dissertation, and I'll be the laughingstock of all historians everywhere and of all time.

The fear is real. And I've been buckling under it all week. Then came Jesus. 

Sunday night, I went to the Lord.

I stopped wondering what was wrong with me.

I quit questioning why me?

And I prayed

As I did so, I heard "his banner over me is love" in my spirit. I knew that was a scripture - somewhere - so I looked it up. It's Song of Solomon - or Songs of Songs - 2:4. 

I like to read thing in context so, I read the whole chapter. It's a mind-blowing expression of love, desire, want and fulfillment. It’s beautiful banter between two lovers. It reads: 

Young Woman

I am the spring crocus blooming on the Sharon Plain,

the lily of the valley.

Young Man

Like a lily among thistles

is my darling among young women.

Young Woman

Like the finest apple tree in the orchard

is my lover among other young men.

I sit in his delightful shade

and taste his delicious fruit.

He escorts me to the banquet hall;

it’s obvious how much he loves me.

Strengthen me with raisin cakes,

refresh me with apples,

for I am weak with love.

His left arm is under my head,

and his right arm embraces me.

Promise me, O women of Jerusalem,

by the gazelles and wild deer,

not to awaken love until the time is right.

Ah, I hear my lover coming!

He is leaping over the mountains,

bounding over the hills.

My lover is like a swift gazelle

or a young stag.

Look, there he is behind the wall,

looking through the window,

peering into the room.

My lover said to me,

“Rise up, my darling!

Come away with me, my fair one!

Look, the winter is past,

and the rains are over and gone.

The flowers are springing up,

the season of singing birds[c] has come,

and the cooing of turtledoves fills the air.

The fig trees are forming young fruit,

and the fragrant grapevines are blossoming.

Rise up, my darling!

Come away with me, my fair one!”

Young Man

My dove is hiding behind the rocks,

 behind an outcrop on the cliff.

Let me see your face;

let me hear your voice.

For your voice is pleasant,

and your face is lovely.

Young Women of Jerusalem

Catch all the foxes,

 those little foxes,

before they ruin the vineyard of love,

for the grapevines are blossoming!

Young Woman

My lover is mine, and I am his.

He browses among the lilies.

Before the dawn breezes blow

and the night shadows flee,

return to me, my love, like a gazelle

or a young stag on the rugged mountains.

Isn’t that ethereal? (Meaning too perfect to be true in this world?)

I hope so. In fact, I hope you’re no longer reading this – that you’re romantically engaged with the text, consumed by its majestic love and raw affections.

But, if you made it back, let’s keep going.

This is God’s love for you. A naked, unabashed, unashamedly pure, pleasant, personal love that inspired by you and only you. Me and only me.

God created us each, individual and unique. And His naked, unabashed, unashamedly pure, pleasant and personal love is available to each of us.

Wow!

My heart just sings and rejoices and is overwhelmed with the depths of love expressed in this passage.

Can you imagine this kind of love? Can you?

Have you ever experienced the depths of love and waves of passion and exuberance felt here? 

Has any man, any woman, ever loved you like this?

This is an erotic and soul-quenching passionate love, a fire that stirs you somewhere deep within. Isn’t this what we all crave, hunger for and desire?

How tender.

How touching.

How sweet.

How pure – this love is that God has for us.

This is how He loves. This is how Jesus loves. This is how lovingly the Holy Spirit calls to us from deep within when we are truly His.

Mere mortals. Mere Man. Mere flesh. Mere blood. Cannot and will not edify our souls. 

More food. More men. More Money. More drugs. More sex. Will not edify us and build us up. Instead, they tear us down, leaving us guilt-ridden, ashamed, afraid and in hiding. We put on a good show for the rest of the world, but inside we're cowering in darkness. Lost. Alone. And quivering in fear. 

Until we're loved like this. 

This is a love worth chasing. This is a love worth fighting for. So, why aren’t we?

I think the world has broken so many of us. We’ve been beaten, abused, molested, and mistreated. We’re depressed, depraved and deprived – because we’re starving for some love. This love.

This is what we want. Song of Solomon 2 is what we crave.

Not porn. Not fame. Not more money. Not celebrity.

We want this. And we can have it.

It’s right there. Waiting for us.

Let’s turn off the world and get in his word. Let’s ask God why we’re not experiencing his love in this way.

I did. 

And God showed me that a lot of pride and arrogance lives in me. Pride that says I can direct my own life - independent of Him. Arrogance in thinking I can do or accomplish anything independent of Him.

Being reminded of HIS LOVE helped me realize that I can trust Him to accomplish His will through me. I don’t have to do anything on my own. He’s my protector and Great High Priest. He’s my friend – the lover of my soul and the lifter of my head. He’s my life.

And he loves me like this!

I don't have to worry about finishing the dissertation - or what people will think of me if I don't. 

My best friend and I will be OK. There's no way we're throwing away forty years of friendship over a few disagreements. 

And, there will be other birthdays. (Hint, Hint, mother – for next year.)

All is well - because His banner over me is love.

And, all is well – because His banner over you is love.

Know this. Believe this – and know that He loves you each, L.