Self Hate
Talk about going through.
I’ve got a friend with trouble on every hand. Her oldest son is gay. Her 15 year-old daughter ran away and became a stripper. Her youngest son has epilepsy. Her sister was stung out on crack. She had an affair – and now the woman’s husband is sending pictures and letters to her house to inform her husband.
She’s really going through.
But recently, she had a praise report: her mother who she’s had problems with for a lifetime stopped by her house and apologized for hurting her.
We started out praising God for this. It had been such a source of hurt for her, so this was a big deal. We were all about praise. But somehow, the conversation turned. I’m not sure how. I’m not sure when. But things changed, and I ended up saying, “If God be for you, he’s more than the whole world against you.”
Well, as I spoke this, something got in my spirit. “If God be for you, he’s more than the whole world against you – but, he didn’t say anything about YOU being against you.”
We can be our own worst enemy. What we think. What we feel – isn’t necessarily true. We think we’re ugly. God said we’re fearfully and wonderfully made. We feel unworthy. God said he justified us in Christ. We feel dumb. God said He gives wisdom liberally and freely to all.
We’ve got to line up our thinking with the word of God. And we’ve got to believe the word of God applies to us – as well as everybody else. I went through a period in my life where I quoted scripture, prayed and believed God’s word for everybody, but me. I knew God loved all of you, but I didn’t think he loved me. I knew he’d provide for each of you, but I didn’t believe he would provide for me. I had faith that would move mountains for you, but in my life I felt abandoned.
None of it was true.
I thought to lowly of myself. I remember thinking once, “There’s nothing good in me.” I felt awful, sad, depressed all the time. Well, I had to get a revelation of God’s great, grand love for me. I had to have my mind renewed in Christ. God says be renewed by the transforming of our minds. We’ve got to think of ourselves as God thinks of us. He made us a little lower than the angels. He’s given us seats in the kingdom. He loves us. Jesus adores us. So why do we hate us?
God said he would never give us more than we can bare. Yet, we run out, work 80 hours, try to attend every school function, get five-course dinners on the table nightly, go to school, volunteer for EIGHT church ministries, iron, clean –up, join a book club and study a foreign language. We do these things to ourselves.
We got to love us more. That means saying, “no,” to some people and some things. It means refusing thoughts about ourselves that defy the word of God. It means dismissing people in our lives who don’t treat us godly, and destroy our self esteem.
We can’t be against us. We can’t keep fighting ourselves. We’ve got to get the mind of Christ toward ourselves and others. And, we must grasp the fact that if God be for us, no one else can stand against us. So, maybe we should be against us either. If God loves us, maybe it’s OK to love ourselves – ya’ think?
I love you each, L.
I’ve got a friend with trouble on every hand. Her oldest son is gay. Her 15 year-old daughter ran away and became a stripper. Her youngest son has epilepsy. Her sister was stung out on crack. She had an affair – and now the woman’s husband is sending pictures and letters to her house to inform her husband.
She’s really going through.
But recently, she had a praise report: her mother who she’s had problems with for a lifetime stopped by her house and apologized for hurting her.
We started out praising God for this. It had been such a source of hurt for her, so this was a big deal. We were all about praise. But somehow, the conversation turned. I’m not sure how. I’m not sure when. But things changed, and I ended up saying, “If God be for you, he’s more than the whole world against you.”
Well, as I spoke this, something got in my spirit. “If God be for you, he’s more than the whole world against you – but, he didn’t say anything about YOU being against you.”
We can be our own worst enemy. What we think. What we feel – isn’t necessarily true. We think we’re ugly. God said we’re fearfully and wonderfully made. We feel unworthy. God said he justified us in Christ. We feel dumb. God said He gives wisdom liberally and freely to all.
We’ve got to line up our thinking with the word of God. And we’ve got to believe the word of God applies to us – as well as everybody else. I went through a period in my life where I quoted scripture, prayed and believed God’s word for everybody, but me. I knew God loved all of you, but I didn’t think he loved me. I knew he’d provide for each of you, but I didn’t believe he would provide for me. I had faith that would move mountains for you, but in my life I felt abandoned.
None of it was true.
I thought to lowly of myself. I remember thinking once, “There’s nothing good in me.” I felt awful, sad, depressed all the time. Well, I had to get a revelation of God’s great, grand love for me. I had to have my mind renewed in Christ. God says be renewed by the transforming of our minds. We’ve got to think of ourselves as God thinks of us. He made us a little lower than the angels. He’s given us seats in the kingdom. He loves us. Jesus adores us. So why do we hate us?
God said he would never give us more than we can bare. Yet, we run out, work 80 hours, try to attend every school function, get five-course dinners on the table nightly, go to school, volunteer for EIGHT church ministries, iron, clean –up, join a book club and study a foreign language. We do these things to ourselves.
We got to love us more. That means saying, “no,” to some people and some things. It means refusing thoughts about ourselves that defy the word of God. It means dismissing people in our lives who don’t treat us godly, and destroy our self esteem.
We can’t be against us. We can’t keep fighting ourselves. We’ve got to get the mind of Christ toward ourselves and others. And, we must grasp the fact that if God be for us, no one else can stand against us. So, maybe we should be against us either. If God loves us, maybe it’s OK to love ourselves – ya’ think?
I love you each, L.
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